The decision to place a baby for adoption is a difficult one that many couples make daily. As a birth parent, you have to decide what is best for your baby and you. If you are thinking of placing your baby for adoption, here are some things to remember.
You Have the Right to Grieve
Even before the baby is placed for adoption, it is not uncommon to experience grief at the idea of giving your baby to another family to raise. It is your right to grieve the loss. Although you know that your baby is being cared for, you can still have feelings of pain and loss.
Remember that the feelings you are experiencing are normal. If you have opted for an open adoption, you will receive updates on your child's growth and there will be the occasional reunion. You can even develop a relationship with your child when he or she is ready.
Know What You Want From the Adoption
If you are choosing an open adoption, it is important to understand there are no set rules for how it is handled. You and the adoptive parents get to decide exactly how open the process is.
Be upfront when talking to the adoptive parents. Changing the plan after the child has been placed can sometimes create a division and emotional strife for both parties. However, if you are clear from the beginning about what you expect, you can avoid this.
You Have the Right to Make the Decision
Although you might understand that legally you have the right to decide whether or not the baby is placed for adoption, you might feel the need to defend your decision to family and friends. It is not uncommon for family members and friends to express disappointment in the decision or to attempt to persuade the birth parents to change their minds.
If you have decided that adoption is the best choice for you and your baby, stand by your decision. If possible, avoid discussing it with relatives and friends who want to argue with you about the adoption. Constantly defending your decision can only lead to mixed emotions and further stress.
A counselor at a licensed agency like A Child's Dream can help you address any other concerns that you have about placing your baby for adoption. You can even receive professional help with dealing with your emotions before and after the baby's arrival so that you do not feel alone.